“It feels so good to be understood with regard to the whole problem of abuse and the consequences of abuse. It is interesting and at the same time depressing to hear that almost 70 percent of the survivors who contacted you have experienced sexualised violence within their families. The estimated number of unreported cases is probably much higher. The sad thing here is that being a survivor means that you have to struggle with feelings of guilt and shame for a long time and later on you become ashamed of your own family in which something like this has happened. For a long time I wanted to leave my family of origin because of the process of coming to terms with it instead of putting the blame where it belongs. For a long time I couldn’t be angry with my parents, who looked the other way and didn’t protect me. I think it’s so great and I thank you so much that you and your entire team are thinking about this huge problem and thinking about how we can prevent it”.

“At some point I thought (…) if I can tell someone, if I can help someone, if I can give someone the courage not to give up and not to think that they don’t deserve to live or that it’s all their own fault, then that would be very good”.

“It is important to me that I have to hold on to the fact that my story is true. (…) It’s like verifying the whole issue, if I tell it now and people believe me, then it will help me to consolidate the whole issue, it will help me (…) to get reassurance (…) I think that’s one last good thing to make the ground under my feet more stable”.

“People close to me have told me that opening up to the Inquiry was very courageous. Telling them may seem like it, but it was really necessary. As I say – I’ve exposed my misery and no longer need to carry it inside me. With my permission to publish, my experience will become the basis of a memorial. A memorial that can’t be built big enough”.

“I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time how glad I am to have spoken to you. In fact, the hearing was everything I hoped it would be: a kind of magic. I didn’t stick needles in a doll and then burned it. I’ve told my experiences, thoughts and feelings to your understanding ears and they are now out in the world. Now my story is a part of history – no longer just a rock in my stomach, a lump in my throat, images or film scenes in my head. I’ve felt better since then. The letter with your kind words arrived just before Christmas and then came the letter from the Inquiry. The first moments holding the certificate were strange. But now it has become so important to me. There is nothing else that can reflect this part of my life! The green folder reassures me that I have – after a long, long time – really managed to talk about it. Thank you very much for the opportunity to be heard by the Inquiry. To me, it represents the caring, generous, honourable and serious side of the country. Thank you for being there, thank you for your patience, your kindness and for putting up with all of it. The hearing really encouraged me. Now I want to escape from the past and take the next steps in coming to terms with it”.

“Dear Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you very much for your letter/reply. I was very pleased with your kind words and also with the fact that you recognise – analyse – think – empathise with it/my story. In my opinion, only those who have experienced such suffering or something similar could do this. It is important to identify how such suffering could be prevented to the best of our ability in the future. To pave the way for the survivors to dare to or motivate them to talk about the past. I will play my small part in this in future. Violence has no place, in any form whatsoever”.

“An experience that I wouldn’t want to miss and one that I can recommend 100% . Thank you for the very professional service”.

“Your folder [the Inquiry’s thank you letter after the hearing, editor’s note] was important to me. I think this work is very fundamental. In the days before the hearing I became more and more anxious about what I was going to say and what you [the hearing officer, editor’s note] might think about it, so I did some research into you (that’s what people do these days) and was able to read a lot about the work you do on behalf of survivors. Survivor protection in the sense of prevention as well as how society should treat survivors – that is important to me. As a society, we should always be dealing with this ethically. How we position ourselves regarding this, each and every one of us. And listen to what those who have suffered really need. That’s how I looked at you – and that’s how I was able to calmly drive to the appointment with you to tell you about my circumstances”.